Priestly Errors

A priest officiating at his first mass was so scared he could hardly speak. After the service he asked the Monsignor how he had done. 'Fine,' he said, 'But next Sunday it might help if you put a little vodka or gin in your drinking water to relax you.'

The following week the priest added vodka to his water and really kicked up a storm. Once again he asked the Monsignor for an assessment of his performance during the mass. 'Fine,' came the answer. 'But there are a few things you should really get straight...

1. There are ten commandments, not twelve.
2. There were twelve disciples, not ten.
3. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the "late JC".
4. Moses parted the water at the Red Sea, he did not pass water
5. The Pope is consecrated, not castrated, and we don't refer to him as The Godfather.
6. We do not call Judas El Finko.
7. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not now and never have been "Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook".

Source: Talkback Trash and Treasure
Applications: nerves, ministry, failure, humor, humour