Insurance Company Claims

Insurance firms covering motorists have databases bulging with bizarre explanations of how the vehicle came to be damaged. Here are some, that demonstrate sometimes what we say isn't always what we mean.

• Coming back, I took the wrong turn and drove into a tree that wasn't there.
• I was having an argument with my wife. She pulled my hair causing me to turn into a lamp standard.
• I leant forward to swat a bee on the windscreen and hit the car in front.
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
• A cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed the cow was half-witted.
• I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found out when I put my head through it.
• I left my Mazda ute outside the bank for a few minutes and when I came out it had turned into a Ford ute.
• The other driver was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I eventually hit him.
• In an attempt to stop myself sneezing, I turned into a caravan.
• I had been driving for fifty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and drove into the ditch.
• I was rear-ended while driving my father to work. I was turning on the car radio when my dad yelled 'Stop!'. So I did. But the voice was from the radio, not my dad.

Source: Talkback Trash and Treasure
Applications: humour, excuses