How Do You Know When You're Getting Old?

• Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
• The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• It feels like the 'morning after' but you haven't been anywhere the night before.
• Your little black book contains only names starting with Dr.
• You get winded playing chess.
• A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
• You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
• You look forward to a dull evening.
• You burn the midnight oil after 9pm.
• Your back goes out more often than you do.
• Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl pass by.
• The little grey-haired old lady you help across the street is . . . your wife.
• You have too much room in the house, but not enough in the medicine cabinet.
• You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

Source: Talkback Trash and Treasure
Applications: age, aging, humour, humor